Those steps are:t’s really as easy as 1,2,3 but for some men they make it hard. When you’re dating settle-free style you should be meeting and connecting only with men whose motive is to form a long lasting committed relationship with you. I decided to include four easy steps that all single guys MUST remember when they’re seeking a mate and the steps you as a single woman should expect as well.

Find Her, Pursue Her, Date Her, then Marry Her….. Or GET LOST!!!


I often ask myself why it seems to be so hard for men and women these days to come together and most importantly STAY together. Then it dawned on me…..Many men are not doing the work in the proper order. I know we all have work to do in order to find and keep true love but this section is centered on how men can effectively find a mate and keep that mate based on what women look for.

I thought to myself how will a man know what’s best for him in a woman if he doesn’t even know what he’s looking for or should be looking for? I mean I’m sure we all THINK we have an idea of what we want but I have come to the conclusion that watching Nicki Minaj swing her bottom on live TV and watching Beyoncé surf boarding is NOT an effective way to find long lasting love that fits YOUR lifestyle! See you guys should be looking for the ideal woman who fits your needs and is everything you’ve been looking for in a mate. I mean EVERYTHING! Not just the big butt or boob job, I mean EVERYTHING! Now I’m not hating on Nicki or Beyonce’ because I admire them both for different reasons and they have their own relationships Beyoncé’ has Jay-Z and Nicki has a man as well so they are doing their thing, but men, you aren’t Jay-Z sorry!

The questions you should be asking when seeking a lifelong mate.
Is she ambitious? Is she fun to be around? Does she answer your calls? Does she listen? How did you meet her? What are a few of her greatest qualities? What attracted you to her? What keeps you attracted to her? Is she family oriented? Have you met her family? What value does she bring to the relationship and to your life? Does she take care of herself? Is she confident? Does she smile? Is she patient? Does she understand you? Do you understand her?


These are just a few of the positive qualities about good women you should be looking for. This is a great way to know what you really want and should want in a mate. And notice, a big butt was not among the choices. Not saying you shouldn’t be pursuing that but it shouldn’t be the ONLY quality in her you see.


I have decided to break it down for you in four easy steps.

About Me

Find her, pursue her, date her, then marry her or GET LOST! I’m going to speak on this from a female perspective real quick for you… Ready??. Here it goes! I’M SINGLE AND NO I’M NOT LOOKING FOR BOOTY CALLS OR TEMPORARY HUNCH PARTNERS… I’M LOOKING FOR LONG LASTING LOVE AND IF YOU ARE NOT LOOKING FOR THE SAME THING THEN NO…. WE ARE NOT A MATCH! GET LOST…NEXT!!


Okay so let me proceed with my four step method to finding true love in a woman.

 Find Her

When you see a woman that you are interested in and the moment you meet her you start to see things in her that just stand out to the point where you want to know more about her… This is the first step to “finding” her. You are looking for long term qualities not just temporary thrills in a potential mate. See this is where a lot of guys mess up. They go for the nasty, negative, diva minded boss chic’s with a huge chip on her shoulders who can’t even hold an educated conversation without it involving how “Bossy” she is and how she gets what she wants when she wants it. Then they fall head over heels for her and the rest is many times downhill from there because the moment she sees she CAN’T get constant money , or a pair of red bottoms or any and everything her small materialistic diva mind demands then it’s on to the next one for her. And you….Well you’re left standing there broke and broken down because you went for the wrong type of woman who you KNEW you weren’t a match for.  But you wanted her because she’s so freaken HOT and she resembled some video vixen off TV! FOOL!


One of the many problems with this way of thinking is, many of you men are looking for perfection when you yourself don’t even have it. You want a dime but you aren’t even a nickel! I’m just saying!


Now that you get my point, it’s time for you to pursue a more humble, positive, selfless woman of God who happens to be looking for the same thing you are… a commitment. And she’s pretty and nice too.  Once you find this sweet nice classy lady, then it’s time to get her attention with pursuit!


Pursue Her

So now that you found her, what are your next steps? What are you going to do to get her? Have you called her today to see how she is doing and to get to know more about who she is? NOT TEXT I said CALL! See this is another big mistake men make. Texting is for people who have already established some sort of personal connection or if someone has asked you to text them your info or something. Texting is NOT how you show a woman you are interested. We want to feel wanted not like we’re just something for you to do to pass time! We want to know you’re interested and when you call and actually take the time to TALK to us we can see a little bit more into your intentions.


Pursuit means an effort to secure or obtain and what this means is, if you want her you better show her and do all possible to get and keep her attention. We want to feel secure and safe with a potential mate. We want to know that he found us and he’s not just stopping there, but he wants us! Now he’s showing us how much he wants us though his actions of pursuit! Do you remember that movie that actor Will Smith played in called “The Pursuit of Happiness?” A true story about Chris Gardner’s one year struggle with homelessness and being a single parent trying to find happiness in his life. He never quit no matter what failures he was faced with. No matter how many obstacles came his way and even sleeping in bathrooms he never stopped pursuing his happiness. THIS is what I mean by pursue her. You must stop at nothing to get her. That’s only if you know you’re ready for her. So how do you show her this? Well Dating helps.


   Date Her 

Do you really know what dating means? Men seem to think dating means the same thing as being in a committed relationship. They run or many are too cheap to spend a few dollars on showing someone they claim they are interested in a nice, romantic evening. Yet they will go dish out $100 bucks at strip joint to make it rain on some random naked chic who doesn’t even know he’s there and is just taking his money. Fools! You want a good woman who is exclusive to you well guess what? Dating is part of the investment. I can’t begin to count the amount of men who I have personally heard tell me “I don’t want to spend money on a woman I may not even want!” Huh?? Then why are you there? Go sit at home and grab a Playboy magazine and get busy because in today’s world, you better be ready to go out on not just one date but a few dates if you plan to be taken seriously! It’s all a part of the plan to “marry her” right? Keep in mind when you’re looking for true love and you know you are ready to pursue marriage you’re going to be spending tons of money once you become a married couple so why not practice with dating? If you’re too cheap to date then you aren’t ready for marriage. Dating shows her you don’t mind the sacrifice all in the honor of making her feel special. HELLO? I think I’ll say that again “Dating shows her you don’t mind the sacrifice all in the honor of making her feel special.” I don’t know about you but when a man goes out of his way to make me feel special and I see it’s consistent I know I’m heading in the right direction. So men if you want to make her your wife, then you’ve got to steal her heart. You can’t do that complaining about the price of a box of popcorn on a movie date! Come on dude!


Marry Her

Okay so you found her, you pursued her, and you dated her and won her heart. Now you’re ready to put a ring on it. Good job, you should be proud of yourself because this just doesn’t happen in this order anymore. That’s why the divorce rate is so high. There is no real pursuit anymore. People just marry for money, convenience, status or looks these days then the next thing you know. They are on the corner scorned holding up signs about how wrong they were done! So marriage has to be about more than just a ring on her finger and a big old lavish wedding. It has to be about love, friendship, trust, passion, dedication, patience, understanding, acceptance, spirituality and loyalty. Notice big butts or large breasts was not mentioned in this either because once again, you have to want more out of a female than just this. If she’s marriage material and happens to have all that then great. So it’s time to pick out the perfect ring for your bride to be and get ready to propose. This has to be done the right way. You need to see what she likes by taking her to a jewelry store one day and just putting it out there that you’re trying to make sure you know what she likes so when the time comes you will have the perfect ring. Then don’t mention it to her ever again until its proposal day! I’m sure she’ll be blown away and wondering if you’re going to propose soon or when it will be but let her wonder. You just get all the details of the perfect ring and prepare a special time to propose. You can’t be the type of guy who doesn’t plan on ever marrying a woman who you’ve been with for years this is why you have to make sure she is the right one and she should be doing the same thing. This means no cheating, no chics on the side, no “friends with benefits” and no lies and back biting. Getting married is something you only want to do once so why not do it the right way by finding her, pursuing her, dating her and then BAM….Marrying her!


It’s simple…..If you’re a player looking to screw and don’t want to be exclusive to just one woman. You look for looks and designer flashy diva-tudes instead of a genuine, pure good real woman then nobody has time for that. GET LOST! We’re seeking something more substantial.



Are You Ready For Just One Lady

“A man who finds a wife, finds a good thing. She is a gift to him from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22


One of the key things to take away from this chapter is if you really want a relationship that’s long lasting you need to grow up and do your part. Playing several different women isn’t going to get you there.


Yeah, I know there are so many gorgeous women and you have a hard time just being with only one but are you truly happy?


Ask yourself what you REALLY want and go get it!


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