That’s right I said it, men settle too when it comes to relationships. Although I’m the Author of The Settlefree Dating Method for Women and I write about how women many times settle for less in relationships and end up in toxic unhappy situations , I can honestly say we are NOT the only one’s who settle. The thing I’m starting to notice when it comes to men settling is, they will many times marry someone who they know does not have everything they seek in a mate but has enough to keep them interested most of the time. Then there are times when the wife is just a bad selection and he’s learning the hard way that she was not the one after all!
What these guys will then do after finding themselves bored in their marriage is they often try to find someone to fill in the voids and many times the voids include sex. They go off and seek a “side chic.” I’m sure many have heard of side chics alot lately especially with the whole T.I. and Tiny and Bernice Burgos and Mary J. Blige and Kendu Issacs, which is just a mess in itself! Now there are times that the man is really really in love with the chic on the side but unfortunately, he’s not single or available and should NOT be entertaining any woman other than his wife! The problem is, he knows he deserves better and he feels like he’s getting better from his side chic. Face it, sometimes men get it wrong but men you must remember, you made the choice so you must deal with the consequences and try to either make it work with your wife, or the two of you come to an agreement to co-parent and you Get Out! Why aren’t these discussions being had?
Trust me, I get it, sometimes after you meet someone who is simply amazing, has the kind of drive that turns you on, is beautiful, a go getter , everything you love in a woman, blows your mind, and her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard…I can totally see how and why you would begin to stray.I wanted to share a few reasons based on conversations I’ve had with guys about this same subject on why they find themselves settling in relationships and also why they cheat. Here’s what they had to say:
- His wife doesn’t have any get up and go she’s boring and sex is little to non-existent!
- His wife wears basic clothes, nothing jazzy or appealing he’s turned off!
- His wife has let herself go!
- His side chic seems to have it all and keeps things interesting plus the sex is great!
- His side chic wears fly clothes and looks good in pretty much everything!
- His wife isn’t supportive of his dreams, she tends to treat it like a hobby!
- His side chic goes hard to support his dreams and keeps him feeling free and wanted!
- He has kids and doesn’t want to split up the family!
- He is just lazy and doesn’t want better so he stays where it’s comfortable!
- He’s unemployed and lack money, but his girl is holding him down so he stays!
- He just wants sex so he stays as long as she keeps on giving it to him!
- It’s cheaper to keep her!
- It looks good on his business resume to be married so he stays to continue to close deals!
I view men who stay in unhappy relationships as weak. I read these comments from various men and for me I do understand some of them but I still often question why men stay when they know it’s not good for their mind, body or soul? In today’s world happiness is key. It’s the key to success, it’s the key to a life of fulfillment and it’s the key to living longer. Here is my take on it and somebody might get mad but guess what?? I don’t care! It makes me mad when a married man tries to get with a single woman knowing he will not be able to give her what she truly needs from a man which is time, the ability to build and grow together, and a commitment.
Some men go off and get married based on looks and status quo but still be unhappy in their marriage! They know they want a woman who is intelligent, outgoing, has business sense, is attractive and desirable , and will support and build with him. Instead, they many times settle for someone just because it’s convenient at the time. They start sleeping with other women but staying married cause it makes them appear family oriented and stable! They are many times gone all day everyday to refrain from being around their wife who they clearly are no longer in love with! They are suddenly at business meetings, hanging with the “fellas” after work for beer, suddenly working out obsessively, and then handling more business. Makes you question…Dang when you gone be home with ya wife who you chose to marry dude?? Stop getting married cause it looks good on your “business” resume and marry cause you love your wife unconditionally or get out!! Stop trying to fulfill your fantasies by getting a side chic because you chose to settle where you are and are unhappy! I’m sorry you’re bored in your marriage but you should have thought about that before you tied the knot! How bout that???