Married Men With Audacity!

Check out the full video on my YouTube channel.

Thursday, December 18th, 2025. I’m at the gas station getting some gas, when this guy approaches me and says he’s seen me before, and he thinks he knows

me. I’m like, well I’ve lived here my entire life, so maybe we crossed paths or I have a look alike. He continues on and claims he never forgets a face, especially when the woman is beautiful. I’m thinking to myself, ummm is this some kind of pickup line?

After a few moments of deep thought, he pulls out his phone and says, “I think we’re Facebook friends.” He then says, he remembers sending me a message at some point. He shows me his phone, and surprisingly we were actually facebook friends. Not only that, he showed me where he’d DM’d me back in 2020 telling me I was beautiful and offering a free photoshoot. I responded “awww thank you “ but never scheduled anything . Yet here he was, years later, remembering me instantly.

I must say , the conversation was smooth. He was attractive. The vibe was easy. I did entertain it briefly.

Then the audacity clocked in.

I called him later that evening on my way from work just to learn more about him.

The vibe was Vibing. The conversation was flowing really well. Then, in the middle of a really good conversation, he casually drops that he’s married on in there. He went on to say he has been with his wife since they were 16. Not happy. Not fulfilled. But also, not leaving. He said instead of trying to either work out his marriage or getting a divorce if it’s just not working anymore, his solution is to recruit side “friends” to fill the gaps of what he might be missing. You know, gym dates. dinners, and hanging out all neatly tucked around his marriage.

I shut it down immediately.

Sorry but if you’re already committed, I am not interested.

I don’t date married men Period! Been there when I was younger, more naïve, and thought love could rescue a broken situation. I realized eventually that IT CAN’T! That road only leads to disappointment, confusion, and self betrayal and I will NEVER date a married again.

The wild part of the situation was, after I was clearly letting him know that it’s a no for me, he still proceeded to call me the very next night and asked me out to dinner, like I was joking the day before when I said dating a married man is a recipe for disaster and i will not partake in it!

I wasn’t kidding sir!

What it all boils down to is , I refuse to be someone’s seat filler while they stay comfortably committed in a relationship with someone else. I refuse to borrow pieces of a man who will never be fully available. I refuse to settle for less than I deserve. And, I refuse to participate in arrangements rooted in convenience, lust, and settling.

I was not created to boost his or ANYONES ego, I was not created to help balance anyone’s emotional roller coaster, and I was not created as a person one can just escape to when things get uncomfortable between them and their spouse.

What really stuck with me is this: how many people stay in relationships they openly admit they aren’t happy in, yet feel entitled to find joy, attention, and validation everywhere else?

That’s not love. That’s fear.

Fear of starting over.

Fear of being alone.

Fear of choosing honesty over comfort.

And I understand it can be frustrating to have made a lifelong decision that you have to stay in for the rest of your life and you get bored or you realize that person that you chose and who chose you, wasn’t who you thought they were when you first fell in love with them.

And let me be clear, settling for less doesn’t just affect you, it creates collateral damage.

Over here, we choose integrity. We choose wholeness. We choose relationships that don’t require secrecy, disclaimers, or emotional gymnastics.

We are confident, we are aware and we know our worth. Our worth is more than just some dudes side chick.

So I’ll leave you with this question:

Why do so many people cling to relationships that make them miserable while trying to recruit others to help them tolerate it?

Because if you ask me… that’s the real audacity.

Thanks for stopping by. I’d love it if you share this blog if you can relate.

Be sure to make wise choices when choosing your mate and never settle for less than you deserve. #Settlefree