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Finding Time for YOU! How to silence the noise and put yourself FIRST!

A few months ago I shared with my fans and followers and those who peep in occasionally just to see how I’m ”DOING“ that I’d be taking a break from social media. And when I said I was taking a break I was not joking at all, I took a break, I’m still on it and it has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!

Spending more of my time with the people who matter. Doing more of the things that matter to me. No longer filling my brain with much of the negative chatter, news and foolery that happens online.I like to call it, Enjoying life! Yes, that’s it....I’m Enjoying life!

Recently my daughter and I made a vow to add mini day trips to our life activities. We go to a beach every two weeks. Something not expensive, yet extremely rewarding both mentally and physically having to walk those Long beach strips. That sand is not a joke! Whew it’s like an anchor holding your feet to the ground as you try to maneuver your way through it. Ha Ha Ha 😆

We’ve visited two beaches over the last few weeks so far, Jekyll Island and St. Simon Island. No these weren’t over the top, preplanned, expensive vacations, they are just day trips. A full tank of gas and a little over a four hour drive. It’s one of the most amazing feelings, enjoying the beauty of Gods green earth, laying in the sun, listening to the ocean waves and giving myself a sea salt sand exfoliation. 😊😊

See you don’t have to do a lot of planning to have fun, just do It. No need to stress over hotels and what everyone wants to do, just jump in your car and take a short road trip to a close location of your choice!

Sitting here thinking about how I made the decision to take a break way back in April because I felt it was time. I just had that gut feeling that a break was necessary and when your gut intuition kicks in, you gotta follow it! Thinking about how in a recent interview on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert full write up in the L. A. Times, our forever First Lady Michelle Obama opened up about coping with depression. Yes even Michelle Obama one of the world’s most influential people has experienced depression.

“I pull back from noise” I surround myself with things that make me feel good: Family, friends, walks, exercise. “ Michelle Obama said in her recent interview.

Michelle Obama

Thinking about how professional tennis player Naomi Osaka recently stepped away from her tennis obligations after being fined and scrutinized publicly for avoiding media interviews to protect her mental health and face her depression. It’s funny how everyone ‘loves’ you until you do something that makes them uncomfortable like focus on yourself FIRST! I commend her very human actions and wish more people would do what’s best for them even if other people don‘t like it.

Naomi Osaka

This down time has been amazing! You see I have never taking a real break from social media so this was long overdue. The things and actions we take in our life determines our destiny. For me, I stopped doing things that no longer benefited me. I stopped taking on tasks that I was no longer passionate about. This time away from all the noise has helped me disassociate myself with those who aren't and were never genuine, solid, loving people who really cared about me! It allowed me to really ‘see’ people for who they really were. I’ve been able to reflect on so many aspects of my life and I’m living and truly enjoying my life even more.

Do you realize how important it is to unplug and find time for yourself? Find time to do the things you want and not care who approves or disapproves? Not care who takes it personally as if you’re “being shady” or looks at you like you failed simply because you decided to do what’s best for you and step away for a while? Mental health is important especially while dealing with racial unrest paired with a global pandemic.

So how with all the attention seeking going on, the need to feel important, the pressure to appear like you’re always grinding, the need to share every new handbag, car or piece of jewelry you’ve purchased, and need to be ‘seen’ and accepted and not look like a failure, how does one find time for themselves?

Take a look at the 6 tips below that has helped me dish the need to always be on the go, and simply self-love my way to success!

  1. Log out of social media occasionally. Now you don’t have to do a drastic 90 days off like I did but make sure you’re not dealing with online overload and the pressure to post something every single minute of the day. Unplug when necessary! I know I know, you don’t want to look like you’ve fallen off right? If you miss a day or more of engaging with everyone, people might think somethings wrong with you right? Stop feeling like you’re obligated to be available for every single person 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You are NOT! Demand your time for yourself and stick to it! Be firm in your time off!

  2. Be patient enough to wait for the long term benefits of hard work! Everybody isn’t going to go viral in a TikTok video overnight! So let’s be real! I get it, the pressures on. People are relying on you to keep evolving and they expect to see your evolution happen fast!! Your Thought Leader said do more do more! More content more visibility! Your peers said don’t just sit there, promote your brand girl! Your friends said nothing because many of them barely say anything anymore! But you have to know your own value and worth. You have to remember all the hard work you‘ve already put in and know that it will pay off.

  3. Refuse to settle for less than you deserve! This includes staying in situations that don’t make you happy all because you don’t want to appear undesirable or unimportant! Putting other peoples needs before your own over and over again. Did you know that staying in unhealthy situations can cause you to make poor decisions? This will add to poor mental health and an unhappy quality of life. I mean how can you make time for yourself if you’re spending every day of your life dealing with somebody else’s stuff!

  4. Stop taking on more than you can handle and start putting boundaries in place. If you don’t want to, then don’t!!!! We have developed this need to people please and fulfill everyone else’s needs many times overlooking our own needs.

  5. Stop glamorizing “Always On The Grind” and start glamorizing getting proper rest, taking days off, making a livable wage, working on your greater purpose on your terms, having genuine, sincere and real healthy relationships, and self-caring your way to success.

  6. Be okay with failure, Consider your failures beginnings rather than endings. It can be extremely stressful trying to keep up a certain image and try to appear as if you are flawless and will never experience failure.

If you really want to live your life to the fullest, reach your greater purpose and reach ultimate success, you have got to stop putting your needs last and start taking more care of yourself right now today. People will assume you’ve given up on your dreams because they no longer see you visibly sharing your every win. They will think you have lost your passion because they don’t see you all over the place doing stuff. They will think you’re being funny towards them because you‘re no longer accessible to them. Don’t worry about them, focus on your vision. You have to remember how important it is for you to rest and rejuvenate. Sometimes we all have to step back and do a little restructuring. That requires taking a break. It doesn’t mean that your ship has stopped moving, it just means you’re changing the direction of the sails.

Whatever you do, always take a little time for you!

“With every act of self-care your authentic self gets stronger, and the critical, fearful mind gets weaker. Every act of self-care is a powerful declaration.” Fred and Far

Tinzley Bradford is a Dating Coach and Journalist. She is the author of the popular book "The Settlefree Dating Method for Women"

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