I‘m a hopeful romantic, I still believe in love and Hallmark cards, going on dates and watching romantic love stories, but I’m no where near fooled by any of it! I know that there are harsh realities when it comes to relationships and while I someday would like to be in a loving, committed relationship, I’m definitely enjoying my singleness along the way!
People often speak about being single as if it’s a disease, it’s not. Please don’t rush into a relationship because you’re lonely, embrace what’s good about being single. Sometimes you just need that uninterrupted “You time” with no one interfering and when you’re in a relationship and you live with your mate, your time ALWAYS becomes “our time!” Whose with me? Trust me it’s nothing wrong with being in a relationship and living with your mate and I love a good life story, but if you’re still single, you should also enjoy your singleness and not rush into adulting too fast. To better help you truly embrace your single life and why it’s dope, I’ve come up with 9 Dope things about being single and living alone based on things I’ve noticed and enjoyed.
You dont have to share your liquor
“Where the liquor at?” That wine you left in the fridge will still be right there when you’re ready to drink it. You won’t have to worry about it mysteriously disappearing by your mate, you don’t have to worry about an “Oops” moment where the bottles get knocked over by accident and break, and most importantly, you don’t have to share it with ANYONE!! When you’re single living alone, The “wine” down Wednesday is all YOURS!!! Cheers!!
You don’t have to play food delivery person
You don’t have to play waitress and delivery person everyday when you’re single! If you want steak and potatoes and that’s it, you can have steak and potatoes without anyone asking you to bring them something too. I’m sure you can agree that when you’re in a relationship, you are made to feel you have to disclose what you’re picking up to eat on the way home every single day! You’re also expected to ask “What do you want to eat?” Or be asked, “Can you bring me something from there?” Not to mention if your mate doesn’t like your restaurant choice, now you have to either stop at multiple places, or alter your food choice all together to satisfy their needs. Ughhh!! I just wanted the steak!! Dannnggg!! Then whose footing the bill for this extra meal everyday? Probably you! When you’re single, it’s just the one stop, the one price and the one steak!! Yesssss!
Your sweets will NOT be eaten!
This Donut will still be on this counter, where you left it when you get home from work! Face it, your mate is going to crave an afternoon snack, see your donut, and we all know what happens next, you get a text saying “I ate your donut, hope you didn’t mind!” Or even worse, you might not get any notice that your donut has been eaten. You’ll just come home, pour yourself a glass of milk ready to eat that yummy donut you’ve been looking forward to all day only to learn IT’S GONE!! Now that’s just plain rude, just gone eat your donut! Dannnngggg! Can you have anything to yourself?? One less thing you have to worry about when you’re single! BAM!
You always have tissue!
Thats right, when there’s only one ass to wipe your tissue supply seems to never run out! You know it’s just you so you don’t have to try to estimate if the tissue needs to be stocked back up based on the amount of usage. We know how it feels to be in a relationship, you go take a dump, reach for tissue to wipe, and there is NONE! Then you’re like “Hey, you didn’t buy no more tissue?” And your mate is like, ”I didn’t know we was out!” Or “I thought you were buying it!” NOPE! When you’re single, tissue inventory will be the least of your worries! Wipe in peace knowing there is more! Lol!
No one will touch your stuff but YOU
These un-burned candles will be the same for as long as you want them to be until you are ready to burn them. When you’re single, you don’t have to worry about coming home and seeing burnt wicks and melted candle wax everywhere because your mate decided to have a woo sah moment with your candles!! WTH?? And No it’s not selfish to want what you want how you want it ! What if you weren’t ready to burn the candles, they should never have been burned PERIOD! Who knows, you might just have them there for decoration or what if you planned to bag them up and give them to someone as a last minute gift? You can’t do that with burnt wicks!! Ughhh! Stop touching my things!!! When you’re single, the candles will remain just as they are for as long as you want, clean, white unbothered wicks. Ahhhhhh Yeah!
Your half drank soda will not be smashed by the thirsty goblin!
If it’s in the fridge this morning, it will be in the fridge this evening. That’s right, that half bottle of cola will still be there for YOU to finish it off when you get back home. You don’t have to worry about your mate having a sudden thirst attack and drinking up the remainder of your cola! Nothing pisses me off more than coming home ready to eat my steak, thinking I have something to drink and it’s gone!! @&$!@%!!!!!! Translation...Where the hell is my fucking coke??
Your bed will still be made when you get home.
Don‘t you just love coming home after a long, sometimes stressful day being able to just lay down in your nicely made bed with fresh smelling linen looking exactly the way it looked when you left that morning? If you weren’t single chances are your boo/mate might have your bed looking like an undesirable train wreck when you reach home, clothes all on it, pillow down by the foot of the bed, wrinkled up comforter, drool
on the pillow. This can cause you to give the long sigh and be like.......Hmmmmmm I just want to rest in my comfortable bed, on clean fresh sheets that have not been compromised by someone else’s DNA and fart remnants!
None of that Damn snoring!!!!
Lets be real, people who snore drive us nuts right? I’m like danggggggg, why you gotta make all that noise while you’re sleeping? And why won’t it stop? Snoring is one of those conditions that I’ve noticed cause couples to nearly lose it while sharing a bed trying to sleep. I dont care how fine he is, or how good he treats me, that snoring makes me cringe every time I look at him next to me in the bed. DAMMIT!! Ugh! Isn’t it nice to lay down at night to peace and quiet? Being single, you don’t have to worry about that grizzly sound. EVER!
No surprises when you go to take a shower
How do you like coming home and smelling other peoples poop after a long day at work? EWWW!! You just want to hop in the shower or tub in peace, only to walk in and smell the remnants of a freshly taken dump in the bathroom! Is that a buzz kill or what? You went from lighting your candles so you can zen and relax, to lighting your candles to kill off the funk and try to survive! You don’t have to worry bout this when you’re single boo! Ha Ha Ha!! Your bathroom will smell just like the fresh fragrance you‘re used to.
Don‘t get it twisted, I do want to someday settle down and find true love, so please don’t think for a minute I’m some grouchy, old woman who is set in her ways. When the time comes to share the space with the love of my life, I’ll be ready. I just know there are so many single women who often feel like being single is the end of the world so I thought I’d highlight a few cool things about being single so that the single ladies can see the good, not only focus on their singleness, and instead embrace the fact that there is still tissue left!
Thanks for stopping by!